Of Tails and Tentacles
by Porter Bailey
Summary: Taking place after the events in "Hats Amore!", Baldwin is laid up on the couch with an injured tail and talks with Ms. Lips about wedding plans and their future together as parents.


"This is agony…" I groaned. I attempted to move my tail ever so slightly, and a wave of pain washed over me.

"Well, try not to move it. It probably makes it worse." Lulu said, resting an icepack on the bandaged wound.

She was right, but I was having a hard time just "taking it easy." It was doctor's orders, but I felt unbearably restless. Too much was on my plate to have a rest.

"Maybe it's not actually injured." I muttered, rebelliously trying to leave the couch. A sharp pain and a blinding light and I fell back onto the couch in a daze.

"Now, don't you think you've had enough excitement for one day?" Lulu asked, returning my tail back to its pillow and replacing the icepack.

"Meeting your foreign parents, spontaneously entering a derby, and hurting my tail? I think I can agree with you there." I chuckled tiredly.

"I can't believe you were actually in that race. HA! You were quite a sight to see from the stands."

"It was a stupid idea, wasn't it? Are you mad?" I sighed.

"Mad? I was flattered! Oh, to think you'd go to such lengths just to make my PARENTS like you! So romantic!" Lulu continued.

'Yeah, what a pointless endeavor.' I thought to myself.

They already approved of me. Who knew? Now here I was, confined to the couch with a busted tail, the cherry on top of a long and tiresome week. I'd barely gotten any sleep lately due to at least one of my many children crying at all hours. There was no doubt I loved them, but I had positively been sucked dry of any energy I'd had prior to their birth. I could hardly focus on other things, such as work, the upcoming graduation, and planning a wedding that was mere months away. I shuddered at the thought of how close it felt and what little preparations we'd done.

Before I could breach another topic, a cry rang out from the other room.

"Sounds like someone's upset." Lulu said, putting on her bravest face. We were still so new at this.

"Help me up." I said, swinging my tail over the side of the couch. I tried to suppress a cringe from the pain.

"I will do no such thing! You just rest, mister, and let me handle this!" She said, swimming off to the nursery and the crying infant.

"Lulu, please. Let me help."

"I said REST!" She said firmly, and shut the door behind her.

I sighed and carefully lay back down again. It was sort of nice to have a break, though I'd never admit it. Everything just felt so hectic lately. Not just adjusting to the new endeavors of parenthood, but also having recently moved in with my fiancée, I was still getting settled. I hadn't lived with another person in a long time, and it was nice, but still very new to me. It was also my first time living with a pet. Attila, who after our little misunderstanding on Flip Flop Island, was holding a grudge with me. I swear I could see him scowling whenever I entered a room.

I could see him from my position on the couch, curled up in his cat bed. Glaring at me.

"Here, kitty-kitty." I whispered, hoping somehow to gain his friendship.

He simply continued to stare at me like I was the worst thing on the planet. He let out a low growl and rolled over, deciding it better to ignore me. This gesture was admittedly preferred to being turned into a living scratching-post, from which I had several injuries. I rolled my eyes, knowing I was getting nowhere with this creature.

"Now wasn't that an easy fix? OK, Mommy loves you. Buh-bye!" Lulu said, softly shutting the door to the nursery.

"What was it?" I asked.

"Just needed a little change, is all. How's your tail?" She said, sitting next to me.

"The pain isn't as bad as say childbirth, but I am still very uncomfortable." I joked, trying to make light of this irritating situation.

"My poor baby." She said, kissing my forehead.

"I'm fine, Lu, really. But, I've been thinking. The doctor said I might be out of commission for up to six weeks. Maybe we should consider splurging on a nanny. You might need the help not having the usual second pair of hands."

"Well, actually, my mother said she might like to come down for a bit to help. Plus, she's never even seen her grandbabies, and she's just been dying to meet them!" She said.

"That sounds nice, but perhaps you teach her a bit of English first? Maybe make it easier for she and me to communicate?" I requested.

"Consider it done."

Lulu moved over to her armchair by the window. Attila immediately hopped into her lap and looked at me in an almost gloating manner. She petted his fur for a moment, then proceeded to pick up her unfinished knitting. From the time I'd told her I was pregnant, she'd begun knitting several little sweaters for each and every one of the babies. I never wanted to break it to her that by the time she'd be finished, the kids would already be too big for them. I'd also never tell her that they were some of the most hideous pieces of clothing I'd ever seen, and I questioned why I let her clothe our children.

After a few minutes of watching my love work with her needles, I noticed she was beginning to seem off. Her movements got slower and slower, and her smile began to fade. Finally, she let out one of her infamous "meh's" of discontent, and I intervened.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine, cupcake." Lulu lied.

"No, you never 'meh' for nothing. What's wrong?" I insisted.

"It's…something I've been thinking about a lot lately."

"Well, what is it?"

She looked so sad and I desperately wanted to go to her. But I remembered how much my tail hurt the last time I tried getting up, and I remained glued to the couch.

"Oh, I just get to thinking about the kids, and…I wonder if they'll even like me." She sighed.

"They love you right now! I mean, you're so great with them! Where is this coming from?" I said.

"I meant when they're older and they'll understand more. I'm not really their mother…"

"Oh…" I sighed. My heart ached for her.

I felt so guilty for never having asked her about her feelings in all this. I assumed she would've told me if anything was bothering her, but I realized that she was the type that didn't want me to worry. I had too much on my plate, and that had left no room for her emotions.

I carefully moved myself to the other end of the couch, so that I was closer to her. My tail was hurting like crazy the entire time, but I didn't care.

"Lu, you are their mother. Why would you think otherwise?" I asked.

"Not biologically. They're seahorses, I'm a squid. We're…different." She mumbled.

"So? Being related by blood doesn't mean anything. You still feed them, change them, rock them, sing to them, and you just love on them. If those aren't motherly qualities, I don't know what are." I assured her.

"But, don't you think they'll grow up and ask questions about their...real mom?"

"You're their real mom!" I pressed.

"You know what I mean!" She snapped.

I sighed. I did know what she meant. I dreaded the question from day one. The idea of having a conversation with my offspring about their biological mother was an uncomfortable subject.

"If or when they ask, I'll just have to tell them what I know. She was in my life one minute, gone the next. Then I met you, and that's that. You were there when they were born. You've been in their lives since day one; you're all they know." I explained.

"Oh…guess I'd never really thought of it that way." Lulu said, cheering a bit.

"Look, when the time comes, we'll figure it out. For now, let's take things one day at a time. Right now they are infants, and all they ask for is to be fed, cleaned, and maybe some attention once in a while. And they don't even use words, they cry." I smiled, gently squeezing her tentacle.

"You make it sound so easy, but they're such a handful!" She chuckled.

"I wonder what on earth we'll do when the wedding rolls around." I said.

"Well, we want them with us, right? At the ceremony?" She asked.

"Absolutely."

"OH! And they can wear all their matching sweaters I'm making!" She beamed.

"Of course…mm, but I more meant that there'll be so much going on, how will we juggle both the wedding happenings and the kids?"

"Oh I'm sure our parents would be happy to pitch in. Not to mention your several sisters." Lulu grinned.

"Right. Them." I muttered.

I knew they were happy for my engagement, but I couldn't help not feeling nervous about their attendance. Actually, knowing how stiffly we got along, I was even hesitant to even allow them near my offspring, in some paranoid fear they'd be corrupted.

"Or maybe even some of your students might be willing to help." She added.

"My students? You seriously think I'm letting my class anywhere near my wedding?"

"They were there when your proposed, and they were at the birth of our babies."

"Yeah, Lu, that wasn't intentional." I shuddered, trying desperately not to think about the events on Flip Flop Island.

"Anyway, you know they'll find a way. They just do that." She said.

"They do, don't they?" I groaned.

"Well, no matter who shows up, it'll still be so wonderful! I mean we even reserved that gorgeous church in Fish-England! I mean, wowzers!" She swooned.

"Yeah…wowzers." I gulped.

There was no way I'd ever tell Lulu that I was terrified of flying. The idea of spending an absurd amount of hours on a claustrophobic plane with my many, possibly crying, children made me feel ill. She'd discover it soon enough, but I wasn't about to spoil her rosy marital fantasy. At least not this early on.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"My tail. It's really sore." I lied, but not too much. I was still in a lot of pain.

"Well, I'll go check on the kids, and I'll get you some more ice." Lulu said, taking my ice bag.

"Lu, wait." I stopped her.

"Hmm?" She said, sitting on the side of the couch.

"Listen, I know you have these doubts and worries about being their mother, but I have utter faith in your abilities. It may sound corny, but there is no one I would rather raise these children with than you. Not the biological mother nor anybody else. You ARE their real mother; I need you to know this." I said.

"You mean all that?" She said, gripping my hand.

"Of course I do. I love you." I said, kissing her tentacle.

"Oh CUPCAKE!" She cried, wrapping me up in a death-grip hug.

I couldn't lie, she gave me the best hugs. For a moment, I even forgot about my tail-pain. Just pure joy. That is until another cry sounded from the nursery.

"Another one?" I sighed, closing my eyes stressfully.

"Well, you know how babies are. I got it." She said, leaving the couch and sadly ending our embrace.

"Lulu, if they need food, can you bring them to me? I kind of miss them." I confessed.

"Of course, baby." She said, and disappeared into the nursery again.

What a doll. How lucky was I to be marrying such a wonderful and unique woman? The wedding was months away, and before I was so anxious about it. Yet, after that one evening, I'd never felt more ready.


End file.
